hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize