the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
