just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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