I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm at about main and main street
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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