the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
