Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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