you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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