We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
