I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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