So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
