yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
