Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
