birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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