and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
