She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dicks are not precious.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
