You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize