I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
