Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
