My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
