i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
