Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
