We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize