Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
