One blow job doesn not make me gay.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
