Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
How external is "for external use only"?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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