Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
