Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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