I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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