whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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