Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
