how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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