just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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