I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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