tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
