Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
