she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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