Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize