I want to walk on stilts...naked
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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