He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
