was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
