You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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