Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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