I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
