I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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