Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
