I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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