i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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