I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
