Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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