I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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