Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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