Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
