That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I didn't notice because vodka
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
