You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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