I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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