garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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