We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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