I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
