What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
