just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
