Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
