please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
