hotel room ftw
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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