i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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