And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
