His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
two words...techno handjob
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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