Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
