Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize