And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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