she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
