it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
