Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize